Loving Yourself

        photo credit:http://studiojoslizen.wordpress.com/

It's unfortunate. But it's inevitable. We try to cover it up. We try to rationalize it. We try to ignore it. Movements, such as Dove, try to combat it, but really the change comes from within yourself. Self image. What does it really mean? While the superficial label is loving your body no matter what size dress you wear, it goes far beyond that; however, let's discuss that aspect first.

Models hang from the walls of stores peering out the windows of the stores, grabbing our gaze if only just for a second. Their empty eyes, and probably empty stomachs, seem to taunt us as with the societal pressures of appearance. Cosmetic stores constantly trying to sell you a product that will make you a "better," "prettier," "more acceptable" you, and we buy it. We buy lots of it. A study showed that an average woman, note singular, will spend approximately $15,000 dollars on makeup in her lifetime. I'm not condemning makeup, it's a great enhancer that can highlight our innate beauty, but we cake it on in hopes of transforming ourselves into something we're really not. Something someone will want. Something someone will desire.

In fact, as I was at one of these cosmetic stores I found this "slimming" cream; curious as to what exactly it was, I read the back label, and it said apply to "problem areas" but for best results must be used in joint with exercise and healthy eating. I was astonished. What were they actually selling you? A pretty tub of lotion with a label inspiring hope to finally meet the pressure felt from those empty eyes I discussed earlier. It was a quick way to make some money off those with insecurities.

The targets of this image propaganda are not only women, but these advertisements also direct themselves to a male audience. Although the effects may be different between men and women, they are not much different. Hating your body, although in different ways, is still hating your body. While women may feel pressure to be skinnier, men are pressured to be toned, defined, emotionless, and even the bad guys at times. To be bad is to be good nowadays, but to God the definition of good hasn't changed.

 Furthermore, what are these companies selling us? Sex? Popularity? Success? Acceptance? I refuse to believe corporations intentionally are promoting products that cause us to hate ourselves because that is a choice WE make. I do, however, believe that these businesses thrive off of our weakness, the thing we all crave for: social acceptance. So they sell us the next big thing that will get us what we want in order to make a quick buck. Well I applaud companies such as Dove, and recently Always, that are sticking it to the big corporations. The more we show the media that we have confidence in ourselves, the more we show them we are strong, the more we show them we love ourselves-- the less power they will have to make us hate ourselves. No matter what size you are whether you are a size 8 or a size 16 or a size 2, you should never feel less than anyone or anything merely because of flashy images on a screen.

Like a puzzle, no two pieces are the same yet they all fit and connect together perfectly. Each piece looks different but serves a purpose. Similarly, God created us all differently; he doesn't have one mold and he doesn't love one mold more than the other. We are all his children and he loves us with an unconditional love we cannot begin to comprehend, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. As His beautiful creations that were paid with a high price through His Son's Atonement, don't forget your worth. Don't forget to love yourself.

Moreover, self image isn't just how we view ourselves on the outside, it's how we view our character. Whether we are important, whether we are a good person, whether we are funny, smart, athletic, the list is endless. I think this battle of our self esteem is less acknowledged. In this tumultuous time of confusion and misdirection, it's easy for us to lose sight of ourselves. We'll often doubt our capabilities and disbelieve when we find someone who loves things about us we hated. We're insecure of the worth of the gifts and talents God blessed each one of us with, hide things about us that aren't status quo, and become chameleons adjusting ourselves to match the tone of each group we encounter just to avoid causing a ripple. But movement is life. The more ripples there are, the more we begin to accept ourselves for WHO we are, the more we live. The more we will actually live.

Don't become distracted by the billboards. Don't be distracted by the smoke and mirrors disguised as glitz and glam. Instead share your confidence with others, lift others self esteem, and love yourself.

Stay on Your Bike

Back in April, I participated in a triathlon. It was not a serious one where you swam a mile, rode a bike for twenty, and ran thirty; in fact, any of you hard core athletes or triathlon trainees would probably laugh at the demands of this race. However, it was to be fun, and it was. We swam 75 meters (in freezing cold water might I add), rode our bikes 6 miles, and ran approximately 2 miles. So you see, nothing Olympic, but a little difficult, nonetheless. As the weeks went on and the closer we got to the time of the race, I began to think more about what it was going to be like and how hard it was going to be.

 I was a member of my schools track team and had been training with them for at least two months. There was no doubt in my mind that I was in shape; I ran everyday and I was fairly strong. I wasn't concerned about the swim portion of the triathlon but began to be nervous about the two mile run. I was a hurdler, not a distance runner, this last leg would surely kill me!! However, amid my preparation, I completely disregarded the biking portion. I was in shape and I knew how to stay on top of a bike; it was, or so I thought, going to be the easiest part of all the race. Oh how badly I had miscalculated that.

As I pulled myself out of that freezing pool and jogged back to where my bike was, I felt drained of my strength. The cold water made it difficult to swim efficiently and made it even harder to breathe. So, as I jumped on my bike, I didn't know that these next six miles would be so difficult. My quads burned as I made it up the slowly increasing slope. I couldn't dig hard enough and my legs felt like they couldn't will themselves to pedal me any further. I began to doubt I would have the endurance to finish this course and wanted to quit so badly as more and more bikes passed me. I was so frustrated! This was supposed to be the easiest part! The wind blew in my face, biting my cheeks and requiring extra effort to push through it. To top it off, as I got closer to the half way mark to turn around, signaling an easier ending to the biking, there was one steep hill to climb. I couldn't do it. There was no way I could climb this hill. Despite myself, I persisted in pedaling.

Pushing, digging, and regretting I hadn't biked more prior to this triathlon, I slowly and painfully inched up the hill. I began to pass many people that had hopped off their bikes and began walking up the hill. How easy that would've been, to step off my bike and walk the remainder of the hill, but I was not going to give up. I wanted to relieve my legs so badly, but I knew giving in would only hurt me in the end. The hill eventually ended and so did the biking, but I was still amazed at how physically grueling it all was. I felt pathetic, I was riding a bike! How hard could that be! Why had I not been able to do this so easily? I had underestimated this challenge.

Although I had been training, I was training for running, not biking. I was in shape for the wrong race. This happens a lot in life. We'll get caught up in the wrong things in this world, and that doesn't always mean they are "bad" things. We'll train in order to get jobs or money or status. We give our time and effort to things we think will help and prepare us for the future, like my track training, but we'll often forget things that will truly strengthen us, like riding my bike. 
For example: I could go to school, and I could devote all my time to studying and working in order to achieve success for my future. Like my training for track, I wasn't doing anything bad and I was preparing myself for some of the challenges I would face, but not all of them. Furthermore, because my days are so long, I come home and forget to read my scriptures or say my prayers or countless other things. I leave out a huge part of life preparation that I'll need, spiritual preparation, by disregarded how important such simple things could be. Therefore, when the time comes when I do need the Lord or when the real trial hits, it'll demand more of me from my weaker areas. It'll require from me things I never consider to be significant in the first place because I didn't acknowledge them. If I, or anyone us, forget that the most important thing is to be spiritually fit, when that real race begins, we aren't ready for it and it will be harder for us. As important as "track training" is in our lives whether it be school or work, we must never forget to "ride our bikes" and do the things the Lord would have us do.

Sometimes the hardest battles we will have to face are disguised as the easiest and too often underestimated.

I learned on that day that trials are never what we plan for them to be, but as long as we remain faithful, or on that bike, our loads are eventually lightened and we will gain strength and knowledge. Preparation is huge; whether it be preparing for a test, preparing for a career, or preparing for our eternal salvation, we must never underestimate a trial, for Satan loves nothing more than to distorted our view. Stay on your bike.

 

 

"Your mission is PREPARATION, it is your school to eternity." - President Spencer W Kimball

Tribute to My Father

My dad is an extraordinary man. He is a man of honor, valor, integrity, strength, and faith. He is provider for our family both temporally and spiritually, and I am forever grateful for his example. He has helped in teaching me right from wrong, what hard work looks like, and how a real man will treat his wife. The way he loves and honors my mother has taught me to keep my standards high and to never settle. He has been there for me in times of success as well as in times of failure. Whether it has been watching me cross the finish line at the State track meet or watching me cross the stage to receive my diploma or reading my Bio textbook to me when I had been doing homework for hours, he has supported my goals and helped me achieve them. He has encouraged my aspirations and taught me to always aim high. My dad is my massage therapist, confidant, protector and so much more. Although those attributes that my father holds are admirable, one of the most important things for me is that he honors his Priesthood. By honoring his Priesthood, he has taught me to put God first and that the covenants we make with the Lord are nothing to take lightly: they are sacred. Since my father reveres his Priesthood, I have been greatly blessed with the power of God within the walls of my home; I can call upon his Priesthood whenever I need comfort, direction, or healing. My dad is extraordinary.

My Heavenly Father is extraordinary as well. He has given me the world, and by that I literally mean the world. He has created this glorious place for me, for us, and has given us the ability to explore it and enjoy it. My Heavenly Father has heard my prayers in times of joy, sorrow, and confusion. I have seen his hand in my life as people have served me, as I have felt comfort from the words of prophets both from the past and present, and so much more. God has taught me about what it means to truly live, to truly love, and to be truly happy; He has lifted up my sad heart and given me direction in times I didn't know what to do. He has helped me and supported me always steering my in the right direction. I thank Him for knowing what I needed more than I knew myself. Although I can't see Him, I can feel his love around me always. I know He loves me and loves each and every one of us because He gave His Son, Jesus Christ, for our lives in order for us to return to Him. That is a sacrifice we cannot repay, and it was given to us out of pure love for us. OUR Heavenly Father is extraordinary.

Enclosed in this post I have shared one of my favorite Mormon Messages. It speaks volumes to me about Fathers; both the ones here on earth and the One up in Heaven. Click on the link below!
                                 
                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5FxdCgD-qI

An Unexpected Friend.

I recently received a beautiful letter from one of my younger friends, and it made me well up with tears. She's about three/four years younger than I am and I have known her since she was about twelve. I'd say she's one of my best friends, but we didn't start out that way...

I was about fifteen when she joined Young Women (I'm LDS and this is a girls' youth program in my church). I decided that as a welcoming gift I would give her a duct tape purse with candy and a note. I was so excited to give her the gift! When I gave it to her she seemed excited too, but the next school year started soon and this young woman became very reclusive. She didn't talk much to anyone, but when she did it was typically short and sometimes negative. I tried my hardest to be always nice to her but she seemed to push me away. I was frustrated! Why wouldn't she be nice back? Why was she so guarded? I didn't know these answers, but I don't think the Lord wanted me to.

Nonetheless, I persisted in being kind, inclusive, and supportive of her. When she looked lonely, I would at least say hi to her or joke around with her. She would react the same way every time, but slowly and surely I got use to how she was and I was no longer hurt by her. About two years later, this young women completely transformed. She became brighter and happier to be around. She laughed more freely, she talked more freely, she just looked free. I spent a lot of time with her on the swim team, seminary, track, and just church in general; fortunately for me, we became close friends! In fact, we went up as a youth to see General Conference and on that trip we really bonded. I'm beyond grateful for this unexpected friend.

As I think back to the first two years of our friendship, I never expected this young woman to become one of my best friends. I never expected for her to change that drastically. I never expected her to write me a letter.

Closed in the letter was a thank you. She discussed how hard those two years had been and expressed how thankful she was for my kindness. I had no clue she was struggling. I have no idea why I continued to show her kindness. I had no expectation of a thank you; in fact, I don't feel I really deserved one. But I know that God deserves my thank you. I thank Him for blessing me with patience those past two years. I thank Him for knowing what I needed more than I did. I didn't know that my persistence would lead to this great friendship, but the Lord knew that, so He led me forward. The Lord knew the circumstances of this young woman, I was merely an instrument in HIS hands. I thank Him for this wonderful lesson I have learned:

We are blind to the trials of those around us. We can see people that may be struggling, but do we always know why? But the why isn't important. Our kindness to ALL is required of us. You never know who's heart your lifting up as you share a smile or your TIME. I love President Thomas S. Monson's quote, "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a PERSON to be LOVED." Those words ring true. How many times do we try to solve the problems of those around us? I'm guilty of that too, but sometimes all that person needs is LOVE. They need encouragement. The world needs more friends. But like Gandhi once said, "[We] must be the change [we] want to see in the world." Go out and change the world. Be a friend, share a smile, and uplift those around you. I thank all the people who have loved me and taken me in as a friend; I hope you know, as I have learned, your influence goes beyond the friendly gestures.

Virtual UNreality.

As I can recall not that long ago in my young life, my siblings and I spent our days out in our backyard pretending to be in an entirely different world from the one we were presently in. We rode our bikes, climbed our giant rope swing, and absorbed possibly too much Vitamin D. Dirt was permanently stuck beneath our fingernails and I had very few clothing items that I hadn't played in the mud with. The laughter that filled our backyard and home was real and felt. Nowadays, I can't say that children don't play outside because they still do, but there is something much different about my generation and the one following it now as I'm older. Television, iPods, iPads, noise, static, images, stimulation stifle the imagination and authenticity of the youth today. Instead of becoming lost in the pages of a book or the world outside our front door, we are lost in the pixelated screens in front of faces and in our palms.

Technology is wonderful, but too much of good thing isn't beneficial either. Technology has brought us life. Due to technology, medicine has expanded, business has boomed, and daily life has been enhanced. Ironically, it has destroyed life as well. The images projected in front of faces present a life that appears genuine, but it hinders us from fully living REAL life. As we strive to have more followers, more likes, more retweets, and more friends, we find ourselves with an emptiness that we constantly try to fulfill but cannot find online. The false sense of connectivity of the social media we indulge in with people we don't see, let alone even know, isn't palpable. The individuals are living, but the interactions are not authentic.

There's something noticeably different about a copy of a painting compared to the original. It looks very similar; in fact, sometimes it is hard to distinguish the differences, but it is different. However, when you see the original, it surpasses the magnificence of the copy and it holds a quality that the copy lacks: authenticity. Such things can be said concerning the two lives that we lead. I can build a life virtually, with my excessive pinning of home projects I aspire to complete on Pinterest, or build a social life by posting excessive statuses and following people that don't even know I exist. But am I really living? What about the life that is passing me by as I stare at my phone for hours? What will be of it? Am I actually constructing anything? These devices that control our lives, don't fulfill them. The world is at our fingertips and we can explore the beautiful world in moments. However, we aren't actually and physically exploring it. We hide behind the walls of our own homes glued to the devices that have become new limbs, and we receive a secondhand take on life.

Life is beautiful and tactile and available. While technology has profited our world by helping us to connect and grow, it has inhibited us by disconnecting us and counterfeiting something so brilliant it cannot be adequately copied: life. The incomplete feeling that follows receiving 100 retweets or thousands of followers highlights how unreal that life is. The laughter that filled my backyard years ago, the friends I had to talk to face to face, the people I got to know in person, the times I spent riding my bike until sundown was real.

Unplug, disconnect, and power down. Paradoxically, when we turn off, we actually reconnect with ourselves, others, and the world. Run while you can, fall in love with everything surrounding you, enjoy the people you can SEE, and soak in the satisfaction you were searching for all this time. God created this earth and gave us life, I do not think He desires us to idly waste it on a watered-down version of the magnificent original.