I recently received a beautiful letter from one of my younger friends, and it made me well up with tears. She's about three/four years younger than I am and I have known her since she was about twelve. I'd say she's one of my best friends, but we didn't start out that way...
I was about fifteen when she joined Young Women (I'm LDS and this is a girls' youth program in my church). I decided that as a welcoming gift I would give her a duct tape purse with candy and a note. I was so excited to give her the gift! When I gave it to her she seemed excited too, but the next school year started soon and this young woman became very reclusive. She didn't talk much to anyone, but when she did it was typically short and sometimes negative. I tried my hardest to be always nice to her but she seemed to push me away. I was frustrated! Why wouldn't she be nice back? Why was she so guarded? I didn't know these answers, but I don't think the Lord wanted me to.
Nonetheless, I persisted in being kind, inclusive, and supportive of her. When she looked lonely, I would at least say hi to her or joke around with her. She would react the same way every time, but slowly and surely I got use to how she was and I was no longer hurt by her. About two years later, this young women completely transformed. She became brighter and happier to be around. She laughed more freely, she talked more freely, she just looked free. I spent a lot of time with her on the swim team, seminary, track, and just church in general; fortunately for me, we became close friends! In fact, we went up as a youth to see General Conference and on that trip we really bonded. I'm beyond grateful for this unexpected friend.
As I think back to the first two years of our friendship, I never expected this young woman to become one of my best friends. I never expected for her to change that drastically. I never expected her to write me a letter.
Closed in the letter was a thank you. She discussed how hard those two years had been and expressed how thankful she was for my kindness. I had no clue she was struggling. I have no idea why I continued to show her kindness. I had no expectation of a thank you; in fact, I don't feel I really deserved one. But I know that God deserves my thank you. I thank Him for blessing me with patience those past two years. I thank Him for knowing what I needed more than I did. I didn't know that my persistence would lead to this great friendship, but the Lord knew that, so He led me forward. The Lord knew the circumstances of this young woman, I was merely an instrument in HIS hands. I thank Him for this wonderful lesson I have learned:
We are blind to the trials of those around us. We can see people that may be struggling, but do we always know why? But the why isn't important. Our kindness to ALL is required of us. You never know who's heart your lifting up as you share a smile or your TIME. I love President Thomas S. Monson's quote, "Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a PERSON to be LOVED." Those words ring true. How many times do we try to solve the problems of those around us? I'm guilty of that too, but sometimes all that person needs is LOVE. They need encouragement. The world needs more friends. But like Gandhi once said, "[We] must be the change [we] want to see in the world." Go out and change the world. Be a friend, share a smile, and uplift those around you. I thank all the people who have loved me and taken me in as a friend; I hope you know, as I have learned, your influence goes beyond the friendly gestures.
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